A Dating-Site Profile: What if?
Calling all searching single ladies in your late teens, twenties, even early thirties: What if you filled out a dating-site profile similar to the one below? (Caveat: In this imaginary scenario, you do not have children from a previous relationship. Children add a whole extra dimension to internet-dating, or so I’ve read. Also, in this imaginary scenario your goal is to find a good man willing to marry you and have children with you. If you want a scenario for a “fun,” short-term relationship, read no further.)
- a full-body picture of yourself (not a selfie-with-duckface!), in a classy (not slutty) dress, with heels on, wearing subtle make-up, hair done (preferably long hair), standing somewhere nice, maybe outside (not in your bathroom or messy bedroom/living room). The picture is a full-body shot so the guy on the other end does not have to worry whether or not you are a “secret internet fatty.” You do, of course, have a healthy BMI because you know that’s best for both you and the man you hope will fall in love with you.
You describe yourself thusly:
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- I am heterosexual and a female from birth. I actually had to look up what “cis-gendered” meant and when I found out, I laughed.
- I never had and never will have more than one boyfriend at a time.
- I am not one bit complicated.
- I am not sarcastic.
- I am not sassy.
- I do not swear.
- I do not have a single tattoo or extra piercing anywhere unexpected.
- I try to be a kind person.
- I am organized and tidy.
- I am not lazy.
- I have a sense of humor and can laugh at myself.
- I like to dress well, but I stay within my budget, my handbags only cost about $40.00, and I have an excellent credit rating. I am not in debt (except for reasonable car-and-housing/rent-payments).
- I enjoy listening to a man explain what he does for a living; I’ll be genuinely interested in how you do your work, and I’ll respect your talents.
- Unless we’re having a mutually interesting conversation, I won’t pester you with too much talking. I’ll save that for when I’m with my best friends, and then you won’t have to listen so that shouldn’t matter (and also, when I’m with them, I won’t bad-mouth you).
- I freely admit that I’m clueless about a lot of guy-stuff and guy activities. But I’ll make great snacks for your poker game with your friends before I slip out to the art gallery just as they walk in the door.
- If something clicks on those first few dates and we end up together as a couple, this is what I will bring to the relationship along with my commitment to love you, respect you, obey you and be faithful to you: I will do the household chores of laundry, ironing, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, etc. (but if you offer to help sometimes I will gratefully accept your assistance); I am able to and will cook delicious meals from scratch, made with ingredients that you can find on the outer circle of a grocery store; I’ll try my best not to “let myself go;” I will try not to be an emotional burden on you; I will give you your space.
- I hope you will bring the following to the relationship: you were born a male and remain one; you’re healthy; you’re a good man with a decent character; you’re employed in an honorable job; you’ll be willing to wait until we’re married to have sex [Sorry, ladies of ROQ, but this author IS a Christian, so what'd you expect me to write? In all seriousness, though, that request will certainly filter out the players.]; you’ll be faithful to me; you’ll do your best to be a great dad; you’ll love me and the kids.
- My main goal for the future is to be a happily-married wife and mother. If we have children together, I wish to stay home with the children if we can afford that, at least when they’re young.
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Hmmmmm. I wonder how many responses you would receive, what those responses would be, and who would respond …